The Top 10 Rules for a Fair Church Fight

Seems like church hurt is at an all-time high. As representatives of Jesus, we’ve got to get a better grip on what we say and how we say it. 

Our words to one another should “always be full of grace and seasoned with salt.” – Colossians 4:6

So here are The Top 10 Rules for a Fair Church Fight (from the wisdom of the wisest of men): 

  1. No demeaning finger-pointing, eye-rolling, or name-calling. “It’s a sin to belittle one’s neighbor.” (Prov. 14:21)
  2. No losing your cool. “A gentle answer deflects anger, but harsh words make tempers flare.” (Prov. 15:1)
  3. No snarky remarks, sarcasm, or profanity. “Watch your tongue and keep your mouth shut and you’ll stay out of trouble.” (Prov. 21:23)
  4. No deceptions, half-truths, or exaggerations. “Telling lies about others is as harmful as hitting them with an ax.” (Prov. 25:18)
  5. No spilling the beans. “A gossip goes around telling secrets, so don’t hang around with chatterers.” (Prov. 20:19)
  6. No filibustering. “Too much talk leads to sin. Be sensible and keep your mouth shut.” (Prov. 10:19) 
  7. No assuming malintent. “If you search for good, you’ll find favor; but if you search for evil, it’ll find you.” (Prov. 11:27)
  8. No shaming or blaming. “If you roll a boulder down on others, it’ll crush you instead.” (Prov. 26:27)
  9. No hasty judgments. “Spouting off before listening to the facts is both shameful and foolish.” (Prov. 18:13)
  10. No butting in where you don’t belong. “Interfering in someone else’s argument is as foolish as yanking on a dog’s ears.” (Prov. 26:17) 

It’s easy to see the violations of these rules in one another… harder to see the violations in ourselves. It might be interesting (and productive) to ask those closest to us: “How well do you think I’m following the rules?”